Tag Archives: compatibility

When Insecurity takes the front seat

We expect love stories to be happy and rosy, with no place for jealousy, anger, and insecurity in relationship. However, expectations usually end up in disappointments and something similar happened in our relationship too.

Insecurity

Insecurity in Relationship|Himayu Blog

Soon after we realized our love for each other, our relationship started to go downhill and insecurity took the front seat. Needless to say, that particular phase was painful but I believe you can’t really do away (unless you’re superhuman) with feeling insecure in a new relationship.

Lack of understanding is the major reason for feeling insecure in a relationship.

If I go by my experience, lack of understanding is the primary reason for feeling insecure in a new relationship. Since both the boy and the girl unearth new things about each other every day, sometimes it is hard to accept or understand a recently discovered truth. And never ever associate insecurity with gender; both men and women can feel insecure.

In the case of HIMAYU, the primary reason for insecurity was a friend of mine. Since I was so close to him, Mr H got insecure of our friendship initially. Did you know how I dealt with insecurity in our relationship? I tried understanding (or rather confirming) the reason and maintained distance from my best buddy for some time. Here, I was not compromising on my friendship but I wanted to give Mr H ample time to understand the importance of my best friend. Gladly, things fell in place soon and we’re able to overcome insecurity by talking out and discussing everything clearly.

Today, I maintain a healthy relationship with my best buddy and the love of my life.

Hatred, jealousy, and insecurity, are like termites, that destroy relations silently; thus causing permanent damage.

Overcoming insecurity in a relationship requires love, passion, and constant support. If you want to deal with insecurities and save your relationship, don’t wait for the other person to start. Take out time to strike a conversation and become your own relationship counsellors.

Though we are no professionals offering relationship counselling services, but if you are experiencing signs of insecurity and need someone to talk to, feel free to drop an email to himayublog@gmail.com.

Till then,
Stay Cosy, Stay in Love!

The Bond Grew Stronger – Every Second, Minute, Day

A few days passed after our first unofficial chat and we didn’t see or text each other. I was leading my content life, when Mr H messaged me again; this time in office.

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Himayu|A Personal Blog

The next couple of months went in knowing each other, personally as well as professionally. Messages, calls, chai breaks in office – were by then a part and parcel of our lives.

Everything happened so quickly that neither of us realized when we fell in love!

It was not love at first sight. For Himayu, it was love at every sight.

Despite knowing how we feel about each other, we chose not to express! Why? Because we feared that this relationship wouldn’t stay long due to family issues.

We tried; tried real hard. But, the volcano of emotions exploded and the unsaid was voiced. That moment was beautiful. We felt each other’s presence without being together (physically) at that point.

The confession made our lives easier and happier. We could discuss love, s**, work, and everything in between openly.

Every moment spent together strengthened our bond to an extent that we decided to fight all odds in our way to be together, always.

Of course, our fairy-tale had its share of sad and dark moments. But, let’s talk about it in a separate post.

Divorce is better than…

I left the title open-ended because getting divorce is a lot better than many things. Oh, I am not drunk and writing this in my complete senses! Divorce is better than:

  • Staying in an abusive relationship
  • Continuing with a partner who doesn’t love/respect you
  • Putting efforts into a relationship that doesn’t seem right
  • Carrying the baggage of a relationship only because of society’s pressure

The recent news of some of my most favorite couples separating was saddening. Farhan-Adhuna, Hrithik-Sussane, Karan-Jennifer, Ranbir-Deepika, and a few others personally known to me, broke their relationships to lead their lives separately.

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Of course, the initial reactions were a mix of shock, anger, and grief. It was difficult to fathom how anyone can separate, after spending a decade or two together!  But, the deeper you delve, the clearer the situation becomes! A simple RCA will make it crystal clear why divorce is not as bad as it appears.

It’s not the end; It’s the beginning
It’s not a taboo; It’s something to talk about
It’s not the death of a relation; it’s the birth of two free souls!

By adopting a positive outlook in life, negative things like divorce will start showing signs of growth and happiness.

If you or anyone known to you has been in an abusive relationship, it’s time to break the shackles and breathe free.

If you have experienced something similar in your life and wish to share it with others, please contact at himayublog@gmail.com.

Let’s Have a Quickie! (Part 1)

PS: Sorry, if the found the title misleading. 😀

The other day I was killing time at Quora and found this interesting thread, where a fellow member asked people to write short stories starting with – “The girl is a doctor and the guy is an engineer.”

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I weaved a story, which is here below:

The girl is a doctor and the guy is an engineer. Both the families took pride in their children’s achievements as the matchmaker introduced them. Soon, the date was fixed and the girl and the guy were married in a typical ‘big fat Indian wedding’ style. Monotony was about to take a toll on their lives once again, after the celebrations were over, when they revealed their dreams of becoming a writer and music composer. That was the moment when they realized, marriages are made in heaven. And as they say, the rest is history! 🙂

 

Why First Impression is not the Last Impression?

Things that we have been hearing since childhood, seems true to such an extent, that it feels like they are embedded in our DNA. The world famous quote – “First Impression is the Last Impression” falls under this category in my case. I believed in this quote all my life till I met Mr H.

Bad First Impression

First Impressions are not long lasting|Himayu Blog

The first time I was introduced to him in office was nothing extraordinary. Exchange of greetings and that’s all! Violins didn’t play in the background; I didn’t feel butterflies dancing in my stomach; I didn’t even saw a point of light above the left shoulder that tells he is my soul mate!

PS: You will get the last point only if you have read Brida by Paulo Coelho 🙂

In short, our first meeting was extremely casual and in no ways I felt he was special. I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I say his first impression was not good.

But, things changed as soon as we started talking. Behind the workhorse, sloppy guy was hidden a childlike innocent guy who wanted care, attention, and love. Every passing day, I would get to see his new side, completely opposite to what I assumed him to be, when we met first. Gradually, he impressed me to the core that I decided to marry him despite all dilemmas.

During the initial phase, I thought of us as two different people who can’t stay together for long. But, today the outlook towards our different personalities has changed; it is like we are two different pieces of a puzzle, who make a beautiful picture when joined together.

Couple in Love

Couple in Love|Himayu Blog

Never let your first impression stop you from interacting with anyone. Talk, meet, and know each other before jumping to any conclusion. First meetings are more about assumptions and less about impressions!

And now I will conclude this post with a beautiful quote, which says:

“you must be careful never to allow doubt to paralyze you. Always take the decisions you need to take, even if you’re not sure you’re doing the right thing. You’ll never go wrong if, when you make a decision, you keep in mind an old German proverb: ‘The devil is in the detail.’ Remember that proverb and you’ll always be able to turn a wrong decision into a right one.”

-Paulo Coelho, Brida